Breath, Eyes, Memory-Edwidge Danticat

"Breath, Eyes, Memory," by Edwidge Danticat says a lot about a child's relationship with their mother, and what is expected of children when they grow up and the mother grows old. I saw a connection between "Breath, Eyes, Memory," and "The Joys of Motherhood" regarding the ideal of it is a child's duty to make sure their mother is taken care of and has a good life when she grows old. In "The Joys of Motherhood" Nnu Ego grew up in a culture where this is expected but later learned that times were changing and she could not depend on her children to take care of her. In "Breath, Eyes, Memory," Atie's mother does not expect to be taken care of, but Atie feels some obligation to do so. Atie's mother talks about how times have changed saying, "Those are the old ways. These days, they go so far, the children. People like me, we look after ourselves" (119). She also says that Atie feels she must live with her, not out of love, but out of duty (168). I am not sure whether Atie lives with her mother because she wants to or because she feels as if she has to. Towards the end of the novel, Atie's sadness and depression is brought up a lot, but it is not clear why she feels the way she does. I think that Atie does love her mother and wants to be with her, but there is still a little part of her that wishes she could be like her sister and go to America. I also think part of her sadness comes from the void that was created when Sophie left her. Her friend Louise seemed to fill that void a little bit, but when she too left her, she felt very betrayed and empty. Also, with no daughter of her own, there was always something missing in her life.

ThE jOyS oF mOtHeRhOoD

The Joys of Motherhood, by Buchi Emecheta was a very intriguing novel filled with contradictions and ironies. I was especially interested in the way friendship was presented throughout the novel and how a lack of it can really leave someone feeling lonely. Nnu Ego, while living in Ibuza as a young girl, was constantly surrounded by family and friends and was happy and content, even though she knew or atleast thought her ultimate happiness would come from motherhood and starting a family. When Nnu Ego moves to Lagos to be with her husband Nnaife, she soon learns that in this new town she was not going to be constantly surrounded by friends and family. Eventually Nnu Ego starts to have children and the novel portrays the hardships she had to go through just to be able to feed her children. She has a few friends in Lagos, such as Cordelia and Mama Abby, but it seemed as if she only went to them when she was in need and did not really have time for them otherwise. When Nnu Ego goes back to Ibuza to visit her father before he dies, she experiences a more care-free life and is in the company of her relatives and a close community. On pg. 156, it says that,"Nnu Ego knew that when the time came for her to leave Ibuza she was going to be very sorry." Nnu Ego knows that when she goes back to Ibuza she will not have that close-knit community; it would just be her and her kids. After Nnaife is convicted of attempted murder, Nnu Ego reflects on motherhood. She wonders where it is she had gone wrong with her children and that she had been taught to believe that children made a woman, but she is not so sure about that anymore. On pg. 219, Nnu Ego tells herself that maybe she would have been better off if she had tried to foster more friendships, but she just did not have time, and she always thought her family would take the place of friends. At this point in the novel, Nnu Ego realizes that she might have had the wrong idea, placing all of her eggs in one basket, only focusing on her family and neglecting friendships. But, then again, she did not really have a choice considering her situation. Finally, at the end of the novel when Nnu Ego was dying, she was completely lonely, having no one to talk to her or hold her hand through death. It is a very depressing ending, but it made me really think about how important it is to not just have strong family ties, but deep friendships that help you through hard times.